…continued from part one of the story: misplaced…
What a strange dream. Had I really just dreamed about all of those photos I had taken that were now lost without much hope of being found? The photos of our first nursing session, the ones of Selah with her Grandma, the ones of Selah with her Papa, her 1 month photos, pictures of Selah and Bella, and on and on. My heart was heavy. The summer was almost over and there was no sign of the card.
We packed up and headed home. I had prayed it would turn up while we packed. After all, I was going through all of our belongings. I searched among our things. Packing was my last hope. To me, unless by some miracle, that card would either turn up while we packed or not at all. I had grown weary of beseeching the Lord, asking him. It was emotionally exhausting. Each prayer was soaked in longing. My family was sure it would turn up. Each time I talked with my mom she told me she knew it would turn up. By this point, I was fairly certain it wouldn’t.
Fast Forward to December 13th.
I was having a hard day. Just days earlier we had found out that our housing situation was changing. Something big needed to happen or we would end up without a place to live. And I was doubting. Despite the NUMEROUS, MIRACULOUS ways the Lord has provided for us in the past, I was doubting whether He would provide this time. I knew He had called us to this ministry. I knew what His word says about His care for us. But I kept thinking, “Maybe this is the time you won’t come through. Maybe we’ve used up all our ‘freebies’, all our miracles. This is too big and there’s too much at stake.” I had tried to talk myself down throughout the day. Mostly, I just cried on and off, discouraged.
However, there was one perk in my day. I had ordered a new Medela breast pump through my insurance that was completely covered. If you’re a nursing mama, you know what a blessing it is to have a Medela double electric pump. I had been using a fairly old one that started to make funny noises. I was so grateful to have a brand new one that arrived that very day. I decided I liked the black bag my old one came in (as opposed to the new beige one) and decided to switch out the pump parts. It would be easy enough….
The pump is velcoed to the bag. So “un-velcoing” the old one and sticking the new one in was all I had to do. I peeled the old one out. It was stuck pretty darn good. Derrik was in the next room while I was doing all this. I finally got it out….
Tucked deep inside, in the very back, in a place not visible unless the pump is taken out….there it was.
My memory card.
THE memory card.
I stared in disbelief and said to Derrik, “I think I found my memory card…”
And then I started to sob…uncontrollably.
This lasted several minutes. My poor husband wasn’t quite sure what to do. Most men aren’t exactly comfortable with the “ugly cry” (or crying in general for that matter). And cry I did, for a long while.
How could I forget His goodness? How could I forget His ability to provide? How I could forget that He hears me? How could I forget that He listens? How could I doubt Him?
The Lord had waited to reveal my memory card until the right moment. He had something He wanted to show me…something He wanted to remind me:
HE IS GOD! HE IS GOOD!
His timing is always perfect, isn’t it? Even when we don’t agree or understand. It is always perfect. My memory card was never truly lost. He knew exactly where it was. In hindsight, I can say I am honestly glad He did not reveal the memory card until that moment. It wouldn’t have meant as much and the deeper things He was trying to show me would have been lost.
I am a sheep. I wander so easily. I cannot see very far in front of me. I’m forgetful. I’m weak.
I am thankful I have a shepherd. The good shepherd. He never lets stray far before He brings me home. He is gentle with me. He leads me. And I trust Him.
“I am the good shepherd, I know my own and my own know me…”
John 10:14He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms, he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.
Here are just a few of the precious photos on that memory card.
Thank you Jesus for your grace. Thank you for the gift of these pictures. Thank you for your timing and your sovereignty. Thank you for your gentle reminders. Thank you, Jesus, Thank you!